Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Know It All's Who Know Nothing

Warning: This is a rant. If I offend someone too bad for you because what I'm about to talk about is something that needs to change.

My mom has a friend that while I think she means well with most of her crap, she's also one of those people that just rubs you the wrong way. You can only handle her in small increments and then it's time for her to go home. So when she informed us that she started massage school I almost barfed. She wants to trade services with me and I don't think I could stand her for a whole massage. But that's not even the biggest part of my rant. I easily handled that situation by telling her that I don't get massages.

My biggest issue is this: she comes from a family that doesn't even allow their young ones to watch Harry Potter because it shows Witchcraft. She started learning about reflexology and kept calling it Witchcraft. I looked at her one day and said "That isn't witchcraft, it is just nerves responding to touch." And she just kept on insisting it was Witchcraft. Now she is on this crazy kick of having to "cleanse the energy around her and within her." Now, normally I would be all for that, and I would even be helping her with it, but the probably is she seems to think that what she is doing isn't witchcraft and everything else that she doesn't understand is witchcraft. Her school also teaches Reiki and she tried to correct my pronunciation of the word! Although I have a sneaking suspicion that the Reiki they teach isn't very in-depth because she will be finished with school in one more semester and they haven't started teaching the Reiki part yet.

Now that she is understanding some of the things going on I informed her that I am Pagan and I'm a priestess as well, card carrying and all. When she mentioned "needing to find someone to cleanse her house," I told her that as a legal, card carrying priestess, I am completely capable of cleansing her home for her, but she refuses to acknowledge that. What irritates me is that she thinks she knows everything about energy healing and energy work because of the things they cover at her massage school. Her teacher even informed her that she is a healer! All the healers I have ever known have a calming energy about them. With her I can't stand to be around her because she is loud, obnoxious, and nerve grating. How can you heal someone when you grate on their nerves so badly that no one wants to be around you?

I've tried discussing some of the things I've learned with her while doing pedicures for her and such and she has a bad problem with tossing aside the things I'm explaining to her because "she knows that already"! These are things that took me years to understand and successfully work with, and not because I'm incompetent, but because these are things that you don't learn over night! She has been in this school for less than 6 months and now she thinks she knows everything there is to know. If there's one thing I cannot stand is someone who thinks they know everything when they've only scratched the surface of something and when they don't even know anything truly. She has no idea what kind of energy is used in Reiki except that "it's really cool and somehow it just works"! I'm sorry, but I'm of the school of thought that if you don't know exactly what kind of energy you are working with, and have some small idea of how it works, you shouldn't be messing with it. I even asked her about chakra alignments and such and asked what she knew about that, because with Reiki you work with the chakras, and she looked at me like I was speaking in tongues!

Here's the thing, if you've had just enough training to make you curious about something, you haven't had enough training in my mind. If you are curious about it, you don't have enough knowledge about what you are messing with to safely wield it. But with another turn of that coin, if you say you know everything there is to know about something you are working with you are sadly deluded. You should have enough training that you are comfortable enough to work with the energies and say "this is how it should work, but things are always changing," and you should still hold enough curiosity to learn from each experience as well.

A while back, Mom started getting very sick. To the point where we weren't sure if she was going to survive or if the pain was going to overcome her spirit and send her to the Otherside before her time. I've been working on energy healings with her, and teaching her how to cleanse her own chakras because she has the personal power to do so by herself. I also called in a friend to do some Reiki on her. That friend of mine is a Second Degree Reiki Master. She didn't finish her training, but I knew from being around her enough that she truly is a healer and was comfortable with asking her to work on Mom. Now Mom's friend that irritates the crap out of me wants to "try" Reiki on Mom. Since starting this journey with Mom's health, I've started learning about energy healing myself. I'm at the part where I am still curious and still learning, but not comfortable enough to use it with Mom yet. I was fine with her doing massages on Mom because Mom needs them, but now she's started using reflexology on Mom's feet which irritates me because I'm the one that works on her feet. I'm also Mom's herbalist and I work hand in hand with her doctor to help speed things along, and I am her energy healer. Is it wrong of me to be irritated that a woman I can't even stand is STOMPING all over my territory? And one that thinks she knows everything when she knows nothing?!

My resentment towards this woman started when I decided to adopt. Since I was 21 this woman has tried to convince me that I need to have a hysterectomy and yet this woman has 5 kids of her own that she never even takes care of. Her children are with their grandparents 24 hours a day. Her mother which is a close personal friend of mine and Mom's filled out a reference sheet for me when I started my adoption process. The next time I spoke with her daughter, this irritating woman, she informed me that I didn't need to adopt, I just needed to take one of her younger children for a week and that would "take care of me wanting to have children"! I flat out looked at her and informed her that I thought she needed to keep her own children and stay out of my business. Then she informed me that I just needed to have sex and that would also take care of me wanting to have children and my bad attitude. I will be the first to admit this woman brings out the very mean side of me. She can't see that I'm a healer at heart because something about her just brings out the worst in me. I can't stand having her around me. I can't stand speaking to her. And it really offended me when she informed me I just needed to have sex instead of adopting a child! I have told her I don't know how many times that I don't like her and don't want to be around her and she just laughs it off as if I am playing. I don't know how to say it any clearer without being downright nasty. Yet she insists that we are friends, and that I value her opinion on my adoption and everything else she seems to think she knows everything about. My thoughts on all of this is: If you don't truly know what you are talking about, stop acting like you do. And if someone tells you they don't want your opinion on a big change they are making in their lives, don't force your opinion on them.

Anyway, I'll end this rant because I have a feeling it isn't making much sense anymore. Thanks for letting me rant! Brightest blessings to you all!


  1. Amber, I find myself irritated on your behalf.

    This woman (Let's call her Shallow Woman) clearly has her head up her ass, and it is going to be a true test of your ability to heal yourself and protect yourself as you continue to deal with her.
    Which, actually is optional. You can so a lot to avoid interacting with her even when politeness demands that you be near her. Try headphones. repositioning yourself away from her again and again would be an excellent workout. Pretend to read while listening in astonishment to her forced and sad attempts to relate to others.
    Sadly, it sounds like this woman ADMIRES you, and that is going to make her interested in relating to you in whatever arena you occupy. Enjoy seeing in yourself what she sees in you: an accomplished, centered healer who's very touch makes people feel better. I suspect she wants that desperately.
    Shallow Woman isn't here for you to teach her. She is here to teach you. Maybe the lesson is "toughen up, don't be so polite" or maybe it's "smile and respond vaguely with I Don't Know even when you clearly do know".
    Treat her with kindness and detachment. Let her piss off others, but not you. she can never be you, and being so YOU, centered and not caring about her interests, will drive her out of her mind.

    I'm glad you shared, I'm off to the airport today to pick up a relative who will be testing MY serenity for a short time!

    Blessed Be,
    Deep Girl :)

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